Just What I Need!
by Agent Yoko
Summary: Chapter 5 is here! Please review, that's why it took me so long to get it up.
1. Shaadi to the Rescue! Poor Ryou!

Yokomon52: Alright, I'm bored and sugarhigh due to all the animal crackers that the teachers fed us today and yesterday due to the TAKS test. So, I'm going to write a humor fic!  
  
Ryou: T T Yay...  
  
Seto: I'm gonna murder her teachers for doing this to her...  
  
Yokomon52: * Petting her pet flame-thrower, Morty.* My prreeesssiioouuuussss...   
  
Bakura: Even I'm not that crazy!   
  
Joey: Right...yokomon52 might be crazy, but she's not crazy enough to even dream about owning Yu-Gi-Oh!  
  
Just what I need...  
  
Ryou walked home from school slowly. It was nearly 4:00, and his Yami would be really mad about Ryou being late for his set curfew of 3:15, which would definitely result in something painful.  
  
When Ryou reached his home, he sighed and then opened the door. Bakura immediately materialized out of the Ring.  
  
"Where have you been?" he snarled.  
  
"I -I-I-I was a-at school!" Ryou squeaked pitifully.  
  
"And you were late because...?" Bakura questioned in a dangerously calm voice.  
  
"I-I-I-I had a detention b-b-because I fell asleep in class..." Ryou told him, looking down at the floor.  
  
"Oh, is that so? Well you pathetic little worm, that is your problem." Bakura responded, grabbing little Ryou by the collar, and lifted him a foot off the ground.  
  
"Don't you lay a finger on him!" A powerful voice commanded.  
  
Both Ryou and Bakura looked up and saw Shaadi standing two feet away from them. He looked at Bakura, signaling for him to drop Ryou. Bakura did just that, causing Ryou to fall on his bony little butt.  
  
While Ryou was rubbing his sore spot, Shaadi was talking to Bakura.  
  
"If you cannot take care of your Hikari, than I will banish you into the Millennium Ring forevermore." Shaadi told him, his pupil-less orbs staring straight into Bakura's of narrow chocolate brown.  
  
"And what if I don't treat the runt right?" Bakura said with his evil smirk.  
  
"You will. A spell will be cast over the Young One, and if you are threatening to him in the least while he is in this state, than I promise it is back to the Shadow Realm for you." Shaadi informed him in an emotionless voice[A/N: his voice creeps me out!]  
  
"Oh really? What kind of spell?"   
  
"A spell that will put Ryou in a state of utmost innocence."   
  
"Is that so. Well, due to my many years of experience, I can break nearly any spell."  
  
"If you even try to break the spell, you will go back into the Ring nonetheless."  
  
While the conversation was going on, Ryou sat up on his knees staring at them. Shaadi turned to Ryou.   
  
"Do you understand?" Shaadi asked him. "And most importantly, are you willing to go through with it?"  
  
"Yes, I-I think so." Ryou answered shakily.  
  
"All right then." Shaadi responded. Then he muttered something that neither Ryou or Bakura could understand. Whatever it was, it caused a bright flash of light.   
  
Bakura gasped at what he saw.. "Ryou? Is that you?"  
  
Yokomon52: It's a cliff-hanger! I can be so mean!  
  
Ryou: That's for sure, especially with what you did to me! I'm a- * yokomon52 slaps a hand over his mouth*  
  
Yokomon52: Don't spoil it! Anyway, if I get at least 1 review(more are appreciated!), chapter 2 will come!  
  
Bakura: And read Incredible Loneliness. She got no reviews on the last chapter and is really pissed.   
  
Yokomon52: Exactly. It really all depends on what time of day you post something. R&R PLEASE!!! 


	2. A 'Little' Surprise

Yokomon52: You people are the best! About 15 minutes after I posted chapter 1, I got a review! You go, _________! Here's chapter 2!  
  
Bakura: *reading off of a cue card* In the last chapter Shaadi cast a spell on Ryou, but what happened to him? What is this 'utmost innocence'? You'll find out soon! And Y52 does not own YGO, even though she'd like to!  
  
Just What I Need: A 'Little' Surprise!  
  
Bakura looked at where Ryou had been and gave a very out of character squeak. Ryou was no longer there. Instead, there was just a pile of clothes with a little lump in the middle.  
  
Bakura looked over to Shaadi, but then discovered that he was no longer there.   
  
"How the hell did he do that?" Bakura wondered aloud. As if on cue, The Lump stirred. Bakura nearly wet his pants, but decided to poke whatever it was, only to hear a giggle.  
  
Once again, Bakura nearly wet his pants, but this time he removed the jacket from the top of the pile. Bakura squealed again.  
  
Instead of Ryou, he saw what looked like a chibi that was lying on it's back. At this point, Bakura realized that Shaadi had turned Ryou into a chibi!  
  
"Well, I suppose that this makes sense. I guess a chibi is the most innocent thing that Ryou could be." Bakura said, as he squatted down next to Ryou.  
  
Now there was no doubt in his mind that this was indeed Ryou. The chibi looked like he couldn't be more than 1 year old. He had chocolate brown orbs and a tiny bit of hair the same color as powdered sugar, which was somewhat lighter than his skin.  
  
Plus, he was naked.  
  
Bakura sat Chibi Ryou up, so that they were nearly on eye level. Bakura looked down at Ryou, who had his head cocked to the side.  
  
"So, Shaadi really turned you into a chibi?" Bakura asked. Chibi Ryou just blinked at him.   
  
"Well, I guess we should find you something to wear." Bakura muttered to Ryou. "I'm not going to put up with a naked chibi all day." Once again, Ryou just blinked at him. "Are you going to let me know if you can walk or not?"   
  
As if answering his question, Chibi Ryou shakily stood up and walked a few steps.  
  
"So that's a yes, then?" Bakura questioned. Ryou giggled in response. Bakura gritted his teeth. Chibi Ryou had such an annoying laugh! Bakura nearly slapped the Chibi, but then remembered what Shaadi said about "going back into the Ring forevermore."  
  
Bakura shuddered. He hated being in trapped in the ring, no matter how evil he was. He wondered if Shaadi would even keep that promise.  
  
So Bakura decided not to take that risk, and took Ryou's hand and walked him to the attic, where he knew Ryou's old baby clothes were.   
  
It would be hard, but Bakura knew he would not harm the Chibi in any way.  
  
At least, he hoped not.  
  
Yokomon52: OK, sorry that chapter was short, but I needed to finish. Ch 1 will be re-loaded, since I made a mistake on him! Oh, and I need ideas for the next chapter! Oh, and if you don't like Chibis, then don't review. But what kind of retard doesn't like Chibis? 


	3. Bakura the Pervert

Yokomon52: Hello, and welcome to ch3 of Just What I Need! I think this chapter will be the weirdest, and probably longest, because I am currently extremely sugarhigh today.  
  
Ryou: *sighs* Yeah, her PEAK teacher gave all the students about 5lbs of candy, not to mention the pickle juice from last night at the talent show.  
  
Bakura: She had the 'honor' of being the Almighty Pickle Person. After they ran out of pickles, they sold the juice and she had a round. Be prepared. This chapter is gonna get gross...  
  
Shaadi: Yokomon52 does not own Yu-Gi-Oh!...or a brain...  
  
Just What I Need!: Bakura the Pervert  
  
By the time Ryou had fallen down and started crying and Bakura had started to carry Ryou on his hip up nearly 2 flights of stairs, Bakura noticed that Ryou wasn't his normal giggly self.   
  
That and the fact that he was a little wet where he had Ryou on him. Of course, it was a hot day, so he thought it was just sweat.  
  
Although when he got up to the attic and set chibi Ryou down, he soon found out otherwise.  
  
"Aw, Ryou, why'd you have to do that to me?" Bakura exclaimed as he saw the large wet spot that Ryou had made on him. Ryou didn't respond, he just looked at Bakura pathetically.   
  
Grumbling to himself about how much he hated chibis, Bakura grabbed a white cloth to use as a makeshift diaper until they could find something better.   
  
On the way back down the stairs, chibi Ryou began to complain, probably from discomfort. Bakura couldn't blame him, either.   
  
When they got up to Ryou's bathroom and by the time that: Bakura set Ryou down, prepared a bath of cool water (after Bakura had a fight with the taps), and got undressed, Ryou was acting really cranky.  
  
"Oh, come on. Don't be such a fart, Ryou." Bakura told the chibi, who was now pouting about something else, even though they were now in the comfort of cool water in the bathtub.  
  
After Bakura managed to get Ryou bathed, diapered, and dressed, he found an old crib from the attic. Even though Ryou was acting really grumpy, he just wouldn't go to sleep.  
  
*~*~*~*Morning*~*~*~*  
  
The next morning, Bakura woke up to 2 things: Ryou whining and the doorbell ringing. He picked Ryou up out of his crib(A/N: Not that kind of crib, Boo.) and went down to answer the door.  
  
"What?!" He snarled as he yanked open the door with one hand, while at the same time, using the other to hold a very grumpy chibi Ryou up against him.  
  
The opened door revealed a very nervous looking Yugi.  
  
"Um, hi there, Bakura. Is Ryou home? I need to talk to him." Yugi managed to say.  
  
Bakura's face split into a very creepy looking grin that was purposely meant to scare Yugi. Bakura cheered on the inside when he saw Yugi recoil.  
  
"Well, Of Course Ryou is at home!" Bakura said in his most Anzu-like voice, then changed to his most bored-sounding. "Here, take him." And with that, he shoved chibi Ryou into Yugi's arms.  
  
Yugi looked down at the chibi in his arms, who was still whining. "B-bu-b-but this isn't Ryou, Bakura." Yugi stuttered.  
  
"Sure it's Ryou, Yugi." Bakura's voice turned flat. "Ask your friend Shaadi if you're confused"  
  
"What?"  
  
"He turned Ryou into a chibi, and he won't get turned back until I learn responsibility."   
  
"So, do you need any help?" Yugi asked cautiously.  
  
Bakura gained an evil glint in his eye. "Well, actually, I need you to go to the store and get a few things..." He said to Yugi.   
  
He was about to start listing things when Yugi noticed this and said, "Well, apparently you know what you need so you should go, and I'll stay here and dig through the attic to try and find some of Ryou's old baby clothes."  
  
Bakura was about to make very rude remark in response to this, or even give Yugi the finger, when he noticed how pathetic Ryou was being. "Alright, I'll go to the store. But I have to take Ryou. Do you know why he's being so whiny?"  
  
"Well, it could be a cold. Has he been wet for a long period of time?" Yugi asked.   
  
"Um, un-n-no, of course not. What kind of mother do you think I am?!" Bakura lied, despite the fact that last night, while he was looking for a crib and baby clothes, he left a wet Ryou in the bathroom.  
  
Yugi eyed him suspiciously. "Well, whatever. Go to the store and get diapers and baby food."  
  
Grumbling something about 'spiky hared midgets', Bakura grabbed Ryou and headed out the door to the store.  
  
By the time they got there, Ryou had finally stopped complaining but continued to look miserable.  
  
"So, Ryou, what's your size?" Bakura asked Ryou while he was looking for diapers. Ryou continued to pout.  
  
"Excuse me, but is that your baby?" A feminine voice asked Bakura. He simply nodded 'yes' and continued to look at diapers. "So how old is he?" The lady asked Bakura. He decided to guess and held up nine fingers, hoping that it would get the lady to leave him alone. "Nine months, huh? He certainly is scrawny. But I was wondering...how did you deal with morning sickness?"  
  
Bakura turned around. "What did you say?" In his most Ryou-like voice.  
  
"Well, I suppose, since you are his mother..." Bakura cut her off.  
  
"So you think I'm a woman, then?" This time he used his most threatening.  
  
"Well, um...yes...b-b-because you look kind of..." She trailed off hopelessly.  
  
Bakura put on his most sadistic grin. "How 'bout I give you proof that I am not a female?" He said, while his hand traveled to his fly, and before you could say 'bishie', he flashed her.   
  
The woman ran off screaming "PERVERT!!!"   
  
Bakura smirked to himself and said to Ryou, "Well, I don't suppose we'll see anymore of her, now will we?" For once, Ryou smiled. "Now we just need diapers."   
  
Yokomon52: Now how many of you think that I'm evil, weird, and a freak?  
  
*All of the cast raises their hands*  
  
Yokomon52:*Just like Mr. Burns* Excellent. Now, I need all of you people as the readers to give me ideas. I've run dry!  
  
Ryou(not the chibi): Good.  
  
Yokomon52: I've begun to think about the next chapter, and I'm planning to have Shaadi in it. R&R!!! 


	4. The Diaper

Yokomon52:*singing and playing the air guitar* Well I never lived the life of Prom Kings/and the Drama Queens/I'd still like to think the best of me/is still hiding up my sleeve.../   
  
Ryou: Excuse her. She's excited 'cause her parents are letting her see John Mayer in concert.  
  
Yokomon52:*still singing to the same song* I am in invincible/I am invincible/As long as I'm alive...  
  
Bakura: She's also mad 'cause only 1 person has reviewed the last chapter of the story.  
  
Yokomon52:*hears this and starts ranting* Yeah, I worked my butt off, and that was the thanks I get! I was sick, too! Blah blah blah...   
  
Yugi: Anyway, the story will be continued nonetheless. So here comes chapter 4 of Just What I Need!  
  
Ryou: Needless to say, Yokomon52 does not own Yu-Gi-Oh!. Or John Mayer.  
  
Yokomon52: Darn!  
  
Bakura: What?  
  
Yokomon52: I wish I owned John Mayer...  
  
*sweatdrops all around*  
  
Just What I Need!Chapter4: The Diaper  
  
After a return from the store, Bakura refused to do anything than flop down on the couch and watch TV.   
  
"Bakura, Ryou is your chibi. You need to take care of him!" Yugi shouted, standing in front of Bakura and holding Ryou out to him.  
  
"I'm sorry. Is there a midget hikari talking to me?" Bakura said, turning the TV up to it's loudest.  
  
But apparently, Ryou didn't like hearing a James Bond movie at full blast. He covered his ears with his tiny hands and started BAWLING.  
  
At this point, Bakura and Yugi learned something very important: When a chibi with a cold gets upset, he can cry louder than a TV at full blast.  
  
"Do something, midget!" Bakura shouted over Ryou.  
  
"You do something! He's your hikari!" Yugi responded.  
  
"What am I supposed to do? I haven't been 9 months old since I was...well...9 months old! And that was over 5,000 years ago!"  
  
"Yeah, well you could at least change his diaper!" Yugi shouted while turning the TV off.  
  
Bakura looked shocked at the very idea. "You mean you actually trust me with my effeminate hikari?"  
  
"Well, I suppose I have to if he's ever going to be 15 years old again!" Yugi exclaimed, upsetting Ryou, which only made him cry louder.  
  
"Alright! I'll change his diaper!!" Bakura yelled.  
  
He grabbed Ryou from Yugi, along with the diapers, and took him upstairs. Out of curiosity, Yugi followed him.  
  
Bakura set Ryou down on his desk, and then Bakura disappeared in the bathroom for a few minutes.  
  
"What is that?" Yugi mumbled softly when Bakura came back. He was wearing rubber gloves and boots, an apron, a red bandanna over his mouth and nose, a hair net, and goggles(A/N: Pretty much the same thing I use to clean my kitten's litter box).  
  
"What are you wearing all of that for?" Yugi asked him.  
  
Bakura raised the bandanna over his mouth to talk. "For protection." Bakura stated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
Bakura placed the bandanna back over his mouth, than leaned over Ryou and pulled the diaper off.   
  
Despite all of his protection, Bakura nearly fainted.  
  
Turning a nice shade of green and getting pale at the same time, Bakura folded the diaper up, and handed it to Yugi, who dropped it twice before finally finding a trash can to put it in.  
  
"Use the wipes, Bakura!" Yugi said to the said Yami, who was about to go ahead and put the new diaper on.  
  
Mumbling something about unhelpful hikaris and disgusting chibis, Bakura grabbed a wipe, and after a few minutes of thought, finally figured out how to use it in the correct manner.  
  
He then successfully strapped the diaper on the chibi, which, in turn, successfully stopped most of the chibi's whining.  
  
Bakura grabbed Ryou and sank down to the floor with Ryou in his lap. Yugi did the same, except without a chibi in his lap.  
  
Before they could celebrate the 'diaper changing victory', the phone rang.  
  
"You get it." Bakura told Yugi.  
  
Since Yugi was in no mood to argue, he walked over to the phone and picked it up. "Hello?" Yugi said.  
  
"Hi, is Ryou there?"  
  
Yokomon52: Another cliffhanger!  
  
Ryou: You're so mean.  
  
Yokomon52: I know. Anyway, if any of you want the next chapter, I want 2 reviews! Until I get that, no chapter 5!  
  
Yugi: Is that a bad thing?  
  
Yokomon52: Oh, and about the diaper changing: I'm sorry if I forgot anything, and if I did, here's my excuse: I am an only child, so I have never changed any diapers, and according to Bakura, I'd like to keep it that way.  
  
Bakura: That was so gross...  
  
Yokomon52: About the Shaadi thing: I lied. I'll try to for the next chapter.  
  
Yami: R&R people!  
  
  
  
Please? 


	5. The Call

Yokomon52: Aaaarrrggh...  
  
Ryou: Don't mind her. She's mad at herself for not saving what she had of this chapter before her computer broke.  
  
Yokomon52: But I can't use a whole bunch of files that I saved because my Floppy doesn't work! So my half-finished versions of From the Other Side, All I Know, and Just what I Need! got deleted! Bah humbug...  
  
Seto: Too bad Yokomon52 has been too lazy to attempt to re-write any of those.  
  
Yokomon52: Anyway, I'm going to try and finish this, but don't be surprised if it's not out until Christmas.  
  
Marik: Yokomon52 does not own Yu-Gi-Oh!. Onwards!  
  
**********  
  
Just What I Need! Chapter 5: The Call  
  
"Er...'Ryou'? The phone's for you..." Yugi told Bakura, who looked confused.  
  
"I'm not Ryou!" Bakura whispered angrily to Yugi.  
  
"You're going to have to be! I think that's his dad on the phone!" Yugi shot back.  
  
Since Bakura couldn't argue with that, he handed Ryou to Yugi and received the phone. Putting on his best 'Ryou' voice, Bakura walked out in the hall and put the phone to his ear.  
  
Yugi, being the curious person that he is, followed Bakura into the doorway, where he could hear everything. This was what he heard:  
  
"Hello?" 'Ryou' said. "Oh, hi, daddy! Yes, I'm fine. Oh that...you remember Yugi, the mi-I mean guy with the Millenium Puzzle? He answered the phone. Um...he's over here to...er...STUDY!!! That's it! Yes, I have plenty to eat...oh...really? But I thought...okay, then, I thought wrong...alright then, bye..."  
  
Bakura returned to Ryou's room, looking extremely pale.  
  
"What...?" Yugi started to ask.  
  
"He said that he's going to be home in three days. He was at the airport when he called. The dig he was at was cancelled because of insane weather," Bakura informed him flatly.  
  
Yugi looked down at the chibi in his arms. "We need to figure out how to get Ryou back to normal. What did Shaadi say about that?"  
  
"I'm not sure..."   
  
"You mean you didn't pay attention?!"  
  
"I mean I don't care about a worthless chibi."   
  
"Oh, that's right! You have to learn responsibility!"  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"You're just being moody."  
  
"I am not."  
  
"Yeah, right..."  
  
"So how are we going o teach a moody 5000-year-old Tomb Robber responsibility?" Yugi asked Ryou.  
  
"I've told you before, but I'll tell you again: I'm not moody!!"  
  
Ryou giggled.  
  
"What's that, Ryou? Did you say that we might need to get help from a friend of ours?"  
  
"If you think that I am going to let Joey Wheeler within a mile of Ryou, you can just..."  
  
"What's that, Ryou? You say that our friend should be about 5000 years old, too?"  
  
"Oh, no you don't..."  
  
"Well, whatever you say, Ryou..." Yugi told the chibi on his hip, who had been giggling constantly.  
  
To the displeasure of Bakura, Yugi's Millenium Puzzle began to glow, and a very familiar semi-transparent figure appeared.  
  
"Yugi? Why'd you call me? And whose baby is that?"  
  
Bakura growled with annoyance in seeing one of his worst enemies. "Not you..." he groaned.  
  
***********  
  
  
  
Yokomon52: Sorry that that was short, but I'm glad I got it out!  
  
Bakura: I'm not.  
  
Yokomon52: Anyways, if you want the next chapter, REVIEW!!!!! I'm serious. You don't know how good it makes me feel when I get a good review or an e-mail from a happy reader...*gives cookies to Katia-chan*  
  
Morty: *is in the corner, praying*  
  
Yokomon52: *looks at him* THAT'S RIGHT!! I nearly forgot, I'm going to totally do over A Ghost's Story, since it has been brought to my attention that it, well...sucks.  
  
Morty: T_T I was hoping you'd forget...  
  
Yokomon52: Anyways, review! All reviewers get holiday cookies! 


End file.
